Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Crunchy on the outside, squishy on the inside.

Warning: I promised a longer blog later, and here it is. Maybe a little too long. Wordy Worderson over here!

Today is Day 6 of our Blogalong with Effy Wild! Holy moly, six days already?! It's funny how blogging every day has helped me feel like the days are longer, because there's a record of -something- I've done each day. And yet time still feels like it's flying. Ah well. I've been loving writing, but also reading all the blogs posted by the awesome women over at The Glitterhood.

I posted a comment over at Glenda's blog, where she talked about spending vs. a limited budget and being creative with a limited amount of supplies. I said: The biggest thing for me when it comes to spending vs. not spending is constantly having to remind myself, "you have ENOUGH." It's that feeling of lack that I'm always battling. I -know- I am not lacking a darn thing, and yet that feeling is just ingrained in my psyche. It's not easy to overcome but the more you do, the more content you will be with -doing- things instead of -buying- things.

And despite that, I find myself working up a list and getting myself revved up to go out on the town again today... to buy things. Okay, not only to buy things, but to donate things to the thrift store, and purchase cat food. I mean, that's a necessity! But every To Do and To Buy on my list feels like a necessity, even though I know in my head things like paint or Vitamin Water or a new shirt aren't really a need but a want. Yes, I am privileged enough that I can buy these small things and feel like they are an improvement on my life, but how long will that feeling of pleasure from purchasing them last? I think my goal lately has not been so much to simply purchase things, but to purchase things that will continue to make me smile when I look at them on a daily basis in my home. Paint will help my house be spruced up when I use it, and Vitamin Water will make my brain happy for having flavor to drink. The new shirt is something I've thought over a couple of days and decided yes, I really do want it (if it's still there in my size once I go back to buy it, knowing my luck it won't be) - and considering the majority of the shirts in my closet are either years old or have holes in them or both, if I find something that fits my body, looks adorable, and is made well (I think I just figured out the Holy Trinity of clothes shopping there) then I should probably incorporate it into my wardrobe.

But then, those things could just as easily become blah after purchase. The paint could sit around guilting me every time I look at it that I don't have the energy to use it. The Vitamin Water could make me feel bad for buying a convenience drink when I could be putting in the effort to make iced tea. And the shirt might get a hole in it quickly (when you have cats, this is a fact of life), or shrink funny when I wash it, or sit in the back of my closet for whatever reason making me feel bad I spent the money on it and am not wearing it. I am fine as I am right now without these things in my life.

(Bitstrips on Facebook is awesome!)

Honestly, the whole thought process makes me not even want to leave the house. Why bother? I don't need those things. But I know that thought leads to me holing up in my house and sinking into a depressed state where finding the reasoning to go out to do anything is difficult. So, I get myself prettied up (because I like the process of playing with hair and makeup, not because I feel I have to put on makeup to go to the grocery store) and venture out into society to keep my energy up.

...does that mean I'm actually an extrovert? Hm.

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Welp, I'm back from my outing. Here's what I learned today:

Looking at jeans at the thrift store is more fun than trying on skinny jeans. Also, just because there is a pair of metallic silver, pointed toe, kitten heeled shoes at the thrift store for $2 doesn't mean you need a pair of metallic silver, pointed toe, kitten heeled shoes. Although Future Cara might dispute this non-purchase...

Vitamin Water is now on sale at Target, with a printable coupon on top of that. Aw yeah. And cat food is on sale at PetSmart. Yesss, buy ALL THE CANS of the one flavor my cats will eat! *raise arm in air triumphantly*

Just because your town has two Target's does not mean they both stock the same thing. That thing being the shirt you planned to buy. Hrmph!

I should have expected that the paint store employee would be an artist, even if it is just Benjamin Moore house paint. But a kind, helpful, woman artist who I recommended The Glitterhood to after a chat? Yay!

Dick Blick's website has Golden Matte Medium for cheaper than Michaels' has it with a 40% off store coupon. Why in the world is the price so inflated at Michael's!? Sheesh! (I used my 40% off coupon on a paintbrush instead. Gotta get that $3.99 brush EVEN. CHEAPER.)

The yellow color I've never used in my beloved Urban Decay palette I've had forever actually looks pretty nice. Been branching out of my comfort zone when it comes to makeup lately!

Being hungry will cut any shopping trip short, even if it's just to come home and chow down on cottage cheese while watching Lindsay Lohan host Chelsea Lately. (I root for that woman to succeed! Stay clean, guuuurlfreyyyn.)

When your boyfriend says, "I have time to run out for a hug" sometimes he literally means he has to run to have that time! Ah, the life of a cook... and he still manages to spoil me. One simple example: Meatloaf sandwiches are tasty dinner, but even moreso when made with love. <3

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